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Hi everyone, I'm just writing to vent.  I might ramble because I'm so frustrated

and my emotions are all over the board. 

First off, my physiatrist led me to believe I was getting ESI's last Thursday

but what he actually did was a medial branch block, and I didn't know this until

today when I went into the dr's office because I had left 3 messages for the

nurse about my pain and numbness and she hadn't called me back.  I ran out of

pain medication this weekend because I forgot to talk to the dr about a refill

on Thursday when I was there and he was out of the office on Friday.  So I see

the nurse and I tell her that Thursday after the injections (which this is when

she told me he did the MBB not the ESI), all day Friday, and part of Saturday

were pure hell, I got absolutely no relief and it made the burning pain 100

times worse which I didn't think was possible.  I told her I ran out of meds

this weekend (not a fun weekend at my house) so she goes and talks to the doctor

and comes back and says I have to go to my primary care doctor to get them

filled, by this

time it's 5pm and my dr's office is closed.  I explain this to her and she acts

like it's no big deal.  I explain how I've probably gotten a total of 10 hours

sleep since Thursday because of the pain, numbness, and feeling like I'm being

electricuted and she just looks at me like " so? " and says I'll have to call my

PCP tomorrow.

I guess my main point of frustration is I am SO sick of feeling like either

these doctors think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic or even worse, they make

me feel like I'm just a drug seeking junkie.  I am straight up with these

doctors and tell them exactly how many I take (6-8 5/325 Percocet a day) and

that just makes the pain bearable so I can function.  They don't seem to care

that my life has changed so drastrically.  I love reading, I love to curl up on

the couch with a blanket and a good book and I can't do that.  I can sit in a

chair for a short amount of time but then I have to get up and walk around or go

lay down, never in one position too long.  I'm a software analyst for the

business office at the hospital which requires me sitting at a computer all day,

I haven't been able to work full time since mid-July.  Thankfully my boss and

everyone at work is very understanding.  I have a very busy life with 3 teenage

girls and spent

alot of time driving them from one place to another, taking them shopping or

just hanging out, now I can barely drive 15 minutes before my legs start burning

and I can barely get through the grocery store before my legs want to collapse!!

Depression has been kind of a big topic lately and I'm very much feeling that

today, a feeling of screw it and just wanting to give up and thinking I'll just

have to figure out a way to live with it.  I'm scheduled to go back on October

2nd for another set of medial branch blocks, I guess now he'll try different

levels but am wondering if it's even worth it.  I'm feeling like things are

completely hopeless, I'm way beyond frustrated, and having a huge episode of

" poor me " .  I'm trying to not let this show in front of my family but had to get

this off my chest.  Thanks for letting me vent :)

Kori Jo

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Kori Jo,

  I am so sorry. My prayers and. heart goes out to you.

Ivan

From: Kori Jo <butterflygirl9193@...>

Subject: EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD

spinal problems

Date: Monday, September 22, 2008, 11:23 PM

Hi everyone, I'm just writing to vent.  I might ramble because I'm so frustrated

and my emotions are all over the board. 

First off, my physiatrist led me to believe I was getting ESI's last Thursday

but what he actually did was a medial branch block, and I didn't know this until

today when I went into the dr's office because I had left 3 messages for the

nurse about my pain and numbness and she hadn't called me back.  I ran out of

pain medication this weekend because I forgot to talk to the dr about a refill

on Thursday when I was there and he was out of the office on Friday.  So I see

the nurse and I tell her that Thursday after the injections (which this is when

she told me he did the MBB not the ESI), all day Friday, and part of Saturday

were pure hell, I got absolutely no relief and it made the burning pain 100

times worse which I didn't think was possible.  I told her I ran out of meds

this weekend (not a fun weekend at my house) so she goes and talks to the doctor

and comes back and says I have to go to my primary care doctor to get them

filled, by this

time it's 5pm and my dr's office is closed.  I explain this to her and she acts

like it's no big deal.  I explain how I've probably gotten a total of 10 hours

sleep since Thursday because of the pain, numbness, and feeling like I'm being

electricuted and she just looks at me like " so? " and says I'll have to call my

PCP tomorrow.

I guess my main point of frustration is I am SO sick of feeling like either

these doctors think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic or even worse, they make

me feel like I'm just a drug seeking junkie.  I am straight up with these

doctors and tell them exactly how many I take (6-8 5/325 Percocet a day) and

that just makes the pain bearable so I can function.  They don't seem to care

that my life has changed so drastrically.  I love reading, I love to curl up on

the couch with a blanket and a good book and I can't do that.  I can sit in a

chair for a short amount of time but then I have to get up and walk around or go

lay down, never in one position too long.  I'm a software analyst for the

business office at the hospital which requires me sitting at a computer all day,

I haven't been able to work full time since mid-July.  Thankfully my boss and

everyone at work is very understanding.  I have a very busy life with 3 teenage

girls and spent

alot of time driving them from one place to another, taking them shopping or

just hanging out, now I can barely drive 15 minutes before my legs start burning

and I can barely get through the grocery store before my legs want to collapse!!

Depression has been kind of a big topic lately and I'm very much feeling that

today, a feeling of screw it and just wanting to give up and thinking I'll just

have to figure out a way to live with it.  I'm scheduled to go back on October

2nd for another set of medial branch blocks, I guess now he'll try different

levels but am wondering if it's even worth it.  I'm feeling like things are

completely hopeless, I'm way beyond frustrated, and having a huge episode of

" poor me " .  I'm trying to not let this show in front of my family but had to get

this off my chest.  Thanks for letting me vent :)

Kori Jo

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Thanks Ivan, I'm doing a better today.  I found out about this pain clinic that

2 people my mom knows go to and they really like it.  Today I'm not in such a

giving up mood so I guess that's good, now I'm more determined that if my

regular doc can't/won't help me then maybe I'll try going there.  My husband

works construction and knows this guy from a couple job sites he's been on and

this guy goes to a dr and the dr just gives him pain meds whenever he wants,

alot stronger ones than I'm asking for and he doesn't even need the meds anymore

he said but the dr keeps giving them to him anyway.  I guess it's people

like him that are the reason people like us sometimes have such a hard time

getting them when we actually need them.

 Kori Jo

EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD

spinedisorderssuppo rtgroup@gro ups.com

Date: Monday, September 22, 2008, 11:23 PM

Hi everyone, I'm just writing to vent.  I might ramble because I'm so frustrated

and my emotions are all over the board. 

First off, my physiatrist led me to believe I was getting ESI's last Thursday

but what he actually did was a medial branch block, and I didn't know this until

today when I went into the dr's office because I had left 3 messages for the

nurse about my pain and numbness and she hadn't called me back.  I ran out of

pain medication this weekend because I forgot to talk to the dr about a refill

on Thursday when I was there and he was out of the office on Friday.  So I see

the nurse and I tell her that Thursday after the injections (which this is when

she told me he did the MBB not the ESI), all day Friday, and part of Saturday

were pure hell, I got absolutely no relief and it made the burning pain 100

times worse which I didn't think was possible.  I told her I ran out of meds

this weekend (not a fun weekend at my house) so she goes and talks to the doctor

and comes back and says I have to go to my primary care doctor to get them

filled, by this

time it's 5pm and my dr's office is closed.  I explain this to her and she acts

like it's no big deal.  I explain how I've probably gotten a total of 10 hours

sleep since Thursday because of the pain, numbness, and feeling like I'm being

electricuted and she just looks at me like " so? " and says I'll have to call my

PCP tomorrow.

I guess my main point of frustration is I am SO sick of feeling like either

these doctors think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic or even worse, they make

me feel like I'm just a drug seeking junkie.  I am straight up with these

doctors and tell them exactly how many I take (6-8 5/325 Percocet a day) and

that just makes the pain bearable so I can function.  They don't seem to care

that my life has changed so drastrically.  I love reading, I love to curl up on

the couch with a blanket and a good book and I can't do that.  I can sit in a

chair for a short amount of time but then I have to get up and walk around or go

lay down, never in one position too long.  I'm a software analyst for the

business office at the hospital which requires me sitting at a computer all day,

I haven't been able to work full time since mid-July.  Thankfully my boss and

everyone at work is very understanding.  I have a very busy life with 3 teenage

girls and spent

alot of time driving them from one place to another, taking them shopping or

just hanging out, now I can barely drive 15 minutes before my legs start burning

and I can barely get through the grocery store before my legs want to collapse!!

Depression has been kind of a big topic lately and I'm very much feeling that

today, a feeling of screw it and just wanting to give up and thinking I'll just

have to figure out a way to live with it.  I'm scheduled to go back on October

2nd for another set of medial branch blocks, I guess now he'll try different

levels but am wondering if it's even worth it.  I'm feeling like things are

completely hopeless, I'm way beyond frustrated, and having a huge episode of

" poor me " .  I'm trying to not let this show in front of my family but had to get

this off my chest.  Thanks for letting me vent :)

Kori Jo

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Hi Kori Jo and Ivan,

I'd like to recommend to you an organization called the American Chronic Pain

Association. They've got groups all over the country now with and for people

with chronic pain, and a website full of information. That website led me to

seek out a pain management clinic here where I live.

http://www.theacpa.org/default.asp is their website.

None of wants to think that our pain will be here forever, but sadly in some

cases, as everyone on this list knows, that may be the case. The ACPA helps

people find the resources to live their lives anyway, despite the pain. Even

working to get past the frustration and anger can make a world of difference,

because we all know what angry tense muscles can do. Getting rid of doctors who

refuse to help you can also make a world of difference.

It's ok to be mad, Kori Jo, you have reason to be. -- and here's where I am---

reaching out to find the resources that I need to make my life better again.

You too, you don't have to put up with their attitudes. I know I can't do this

alone, so I've been all over the internet to find what I need to make this

better, so that I can cope with it if that's what I need to learn to do. I'd

really rather get rid of the pain forever. Well, we'll see about that. I

realize that may not happen. BUT -- to keep it manageable, and learn how to

avoid it, and how to not trigger it, is what I want to learn to do, so I can get

my life back. The Zoloft antidepressent I'm now on, by the way, has made a huge

difference, and so has the antianxiety med, Ativan. The past 2 days, I'm far

more hopeful than I've been in weeks. What a relief that has been!

Hang in there - be peaceful. And get on the phone. I'm really glad you've

found the pain management clinic. I've just started going to one, too. I saw

the pain psychologist yesterday, and next week Oct. 1 I see the

MD/anesthesiologist the first time.

blessings and peace to you, Rita.

EMOTIONAL OVERLOAD

spinedisorderssuppo rtgroup@gro ups.com

Date: Monday, September 22, 2008, 11:23 PM

Hi everyone, I'm just writing to vent. I might ramble because I'm so frustrated

and my emotions are all over the board.

First off, my physiatrist led me to believe I was getting ESI's last Thursday

but what he actually did was a medial branch block, and I didn't know this until

today when I went into the dr's office because I had left 3 messages for the

nurse about my pain and numbness and she hadn't called me back. I ran out of

pain medication this weekend because I forgot to talk to the dr about a refill

on Thursday when I was there and he was out of the office on Friday. So I see

the nurse and I tell her that Thursday after the injections (which this is when

she told me he did the MBB not the ESI), all day Friday, and part of Saturday

were pure hell, I got absolutely no relief and it made the burning pain 100

times worse which I didn't think was possible. I told her I ran out of meds

this weekend (not a fun weekend at my house) so she goes and talks to the doctor

and comes back and says I have to go to my primary care doctor to get them

filled, by this

time it's 5pm and my dr's office is closed. I explain this to her and she acts

like it's no big deal. I explain how I've probably gotten a total of 10 hours

sleep since Thursday because of the pain, numbness, and feeling like I'm being

electricuted and she just looks at me like " so? " and says I'll have to call my

PCP tomorrow.

I guess my main point of frustration is I am SO sick of feeling like either

these doctors think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic or even worse, they make

me feel like I'm just a drug seeking junkie. I am straight up with these

doctors and tell them exactly how many I take (6-8 5/325 Percocet a day) and

that just makes the pain bearable so I can function. They don't seem to care

that my life has changed so drastrically. I love reading, I love to curl up on

the couch with a blanket and a good book and I can't do that. I can sit in a

chair for a short amount of time but then I have to get up and walk around or go

lay down, never in one position too long. I'm a software analyst for the

business office at the hospital which requires me sitting at a computer all day,

I haven't been able to work full time since mid-July. Thankfully my boss and

everyone at work is very understanding. I have a very busy life with 3 teenage

girls and spent

alot of time driving them from one place to another, taking them shopping or

just hanging out, now I can barely drive 15 minutes before my legs start burning

and I can barely get through the grocery store before my legs want to collapse!!

Depression has been kind of a big topic lately and I'm very much feeling that

today, a feeling of screw it and just wanting to give up and thinking I'll just

have to figure out a way to live with it. I'm scheduled to go back on October

2nd for another set of medial branch blocks, I guess now he'll try different

levels but am wondering if it's even worth it. I'm feeling like things are

completely hopeless, I'm way beyond frustrated, and having a huge episode of

" poor me " . I'm trying to not let this show in front of my family but had to get

this off my chest. Thanks for letting me vent :)

Kori Jo

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I don't know what kind of pain dr you are going to, but if you can

switch you might think about it. Mine is the ONLY one who can give me

pain meds, not my pcp. Even after my surgery, I didn't go to my

surgeon, I went to my pain dr. The only reason I was " turned away "

was I needed to come in for an appt. But even then they gave me

enough to get by until I could get an appt. The pain dr and staff is

supposed to be the one who understands and is compassionate regarding

your pain. That is why they specialize in it. Can you imagine you

surgeon telling you to go to your pcp to get a mri? it is the same in

theory. Just wanted to drop a line in support of you and let you know

this one doesn't sound like your fault at all and that a change might

be needed.

You will be added to my prayers.

>

> Hi everyone, I'm just writing to vent.  I might ramble because I'm

so frustrated and my emotions are all over the board. 

> First off, my physiatrist led me to believe I was getting ESI's last

Thursday but what he actually did was a medial branch block, and I

didn't know this until today when I went into the dr's office because

I had left 3 messages for the nurse about my pain and numbness and she

hadn't called me back.  I ran out of pain medication this weekend

because I forgot to talk to the dr about a refill on Thursday when I

was there and he was out of the office on Friday.  So I see the

nurse and I tell her that Thursday after the injections (which this is

when she told me he did the MBB not the ESI), all day Friday, and part

of Saturday were pure hell, I got absolutely no relief and it made

the burning pain 100 times worse which I didn't think was possible. 

I told her I ran out of meds this weekend (not a fun weekend at my

house) so she goes and talks to the doctor and comes back and says I

have to go to my primary care doctor to get them filled, by this

> time it's 5pm and my dr's office is closed.  I explain this to her

and she acts like it's no big deal.  I explain how I've probably

gotten a total of 10 hours sleep since Thursday because of the pain,

numbness, and feeling like I'm being electricuted and she just looks

at me like " so? " and says I'll have to call my PCP tomorrow.

>

> I guess my main point of frustration is I am SO sick of feeling like

either these doctors think I'm exaggerating and being dramatic or even

worse, they make me feel like I'm just a drug seeking junkie.  I am

straight up with these doctors and tell them exactly how many I take

(6-8 5/325 Percocet a day) and that just makes the pain bearable so I

can function.  They don't seem to care that my life has changed so

drastrically.  I love reading, I love to curl up on the couch with a

blanket and a good book and I can't do that.  I can sit in a chair for

a short amount of time but then I have to get up and walk around or go

lay down, never in one position too long.  I'm a software analyst for

the business office at the hospital which requires me sitting at a

computer all day, I haven't been able to work full time since

mid-July.  Thankfully my boss and everyone at work is very

understanding.  I have a very busy life with 3 teenage girls and spent

> alot of time driving them from one place to another, taking them

shopping or just hanging out, now I can barely drive 15 minutes before

my legs start burning and I can barely get through the grocery store

before my legs want to collapse!!

>

> Depression has been kind of a big topic lately and I'm very much

feeling that today, a feeling of screw it and just wanting to give up

and thinking I'll just have to figure out a way to live with it.  I'm

scheduled to go back on October 2nd for another set of medial branch

blocks, I guess now he'll try different levels but am wondering if

it's even worth it.  I'm feeling like things are completely hopeless,

I'm way beyond frustrated, and having a huge episode of " poor me " . 

I'm trying to not let this show in front of my family but had to get

this off my chest.  Thanks for letting me vent :)

> Kori Jo

>

>

>

>

>

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Kori Jo, I think so many of us understand what you are going thru, I

know I do! What is a medial block? I did not have any relief from

epidurals but was told there was another type of injection I might try

at the " facets " which does not involve steroids. I'm wondering if this

is what you are talking about.

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