Re: Child Support -

[Guest guest]

Don,That just makes no sense unless your ex was claiming those other kids were yours as well.  You can't be forced to pay child support on children who are not biologically yours unless you adopt them.  Something just ain't right in Denmark.

Hugs,TeriOn Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 4:52 PM, Christ <ludichrist2000@...> wrote:

 

Hi Everybody

I guess this might be where some of you might hate me also, but here is my story about child support.

 

- In 1970, I got married for 5 years, and had 2 son's.

I worked my butt off to support my family - my ex couldnt hold a job.

We seperated 2 times because she like to play around behind my back.

The 2nd time she took the kids out of State [Arkansas], and vanished with her BF.

A year later I filed for divorce, having had no contact.

 

In the divorce I was ordered to pay 15 per week per child, and she was ordered to give me full visitation rights.

I was washing dishes at the time for min wage.

I couldnt pay anything because she had vanished, and I didnt see my kids again until they were grown.....16 years.

 

During this time she re-married and had 3 more children.

Neither parent could hold a job, so the 7 of them lived on Calif Welfare for 13 years.

I didnt know any of this until much later, I had no way to contact them, and heard nothing.

 

- In 1980, I got blown up in a house-fire in Oklahoma, and was totally disabled.

I lived on the street for the next 21 years in Arkansas, unable to work.

I recieved no Govt, or other assistance. I was refused SSI. 

I slept where I could, and begged for food. The ER was my doctor.

 

- In 1990? about, California came after me for child support.

BUT

They wanted me to reimburse the State for 7 people, not just my 2 sons.

- I went to court, and was told that my personal health situation didnt count.

- I was told California DEMANDED full reimbursement immediately for all 7 people, and none of the money would go to my 2 sons.

- I was told that my Court ordered rights to see my children grow up didnt count.

- I was told that her choice to be incommunicato was my fault.

 

I told the Court that I would reimburse my 2 sons only, 'somehow', but refused California's terms.

California refused my settlement offer, and told me - 'dont come back to Calif, or I would be in prison for 30 years'.!!!!!!!! 

They dragged me back into court every year until 2002, hounding and threatening me....12 years [taxpayer money].

 

- In 2002, I was finally able to get SSI - 650 per month, Medicaid, and some Food Stamps.

I have been living on this tiny amount since.

My living expences take all my resources, so I am unable to send my sons one dime.

I cannot work - I am 95% bedridden - up only to see the doctor, or buy food with some help.

 

My children are 36 and 40 now.

They want nothing from me in the way of money.

I have no contact with my older son sadly.....20+ years now. 

He hates me because he was raised by another man.

 

I am protected by SSI in 49 States for this outstanding debt, but in California I can still be sent to prison for 30 years.!!!!!!!

My total bill in California in 2002 was estimated to be 245,000+, and 30+ years interest.

 

You know, everyone has a story. Man, woman, and child.

I see where I have been judged by others adversely, who didnt know the facts.

I am sure that there are fathers AND mothers out there who have done wrong - on purpose....maybe.

I cannot judge.

 

But two things I have learned in life are -

1 - Do not judge others - peroid - unless you wear their shoes.

We do not know other peoples suffering, pain, or handicaps.

2 - Each of us is given a life, and it is up to us PERSONALLY to cherish what we have, and to try to make it better.

Nothing comes on a silver platter, and life is hard and not fair for most of us. 

 

Hi, I am don in ks, a DEADBEAT DAD.....in some peoples opinion.

I have no defence except that I was blindly handed a life full of twists and turns, like everybody else.

I have done the best I could with the cards I have been dwelt.

I am not perfect.

 

You know, I have watched my older sister sit around for 40+ years, HATING her ex husband because he didnt give her the money that she felt was owed to her.

She has been single just as long because she figures ALL men are rotten, including me, her own brother, because her love expectations didnt work out.

She has lived more than half her life - 'unhappy', and carrying this burden.

OMG....how sad. But will she listen to common sence?

 

I know other people who fall down in life, stand back up, dust themselves off, and get on with living.

A lot of them are in this group.

You know who you are.

 

My friends - this is my advice - just let go of the past.

Live today like it is your last day on Earth.

AND - fill your life with UNCONDITIONAL love for all things.

The good, the bad, the ugli.

Know-what-I-mean?

 

Thats my 2 cents, and I want change back. LOL :-)

 

love

don in ks

From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting

Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM

Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, " I am just about 50.00 a month too much " from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I

just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either.  Betty   

From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...>

Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting 

Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........

 

My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am  sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how.

 

Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........

You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall.

---

[Guest guest]

DonI never even tried to get child support for my son!! It just wasn't worth the effort. When I had to run from the last relationship 20+ years ago, I did go see a lawyer. But, it was about our debts, not child support. At the end of the visit, the lawyer says to me, are you getting child support. I said NO and I wasn't looking for it either. Course, he tries to convince me, until I got angry and told him that the man was a narcissist who never paid a dime for his bio kids. Also, I had to point out that this man was extremely dangerous to me and that I sure wasn't going to do anything to bring any notice to myself. I believe strongly that the system up here in Canada is

certainly full of holes and it sounds like it's not much better in the US. You are right, not every case is the same at all. You should have heard the howl when the tax rules changed here, when it came to child support. See, the father would get to decrease his taxes by paying child support; but, the mother would have to declare the extra income. FAIR??? Not by a long shot. But, try to explain that to some of these guys. I would tell them - if you were still living with those kids, it would cost you a hellava lot more of your pay cheque to that home and there is no way to claim any deduction. So, why should they get a deduction for doing what they should be doing anyway???But, I've heard stories that could curl your hair on both sides!!! Right down to a woman that was getting child support from her three previous relationships, for the same damn kids... Gives any of us that have never

had a dime of support a really bad name.Gloria

Hi Everybody

I guess this might be where some of you might hate me also, but here is my story about child support.

- In 1970, I got married for 5 years, and had 2 son's.

I worked my butt off to support my family - my ex couldnt hold a job.

We seperated 2 times because she like to play around behind my back.

The 2nd time she took the kids out of State [Arkansas], and vanished with her BF.

A year later I filed for divorce, having had no contact.

In the divorce I was ordered to pay 15 per week per child, and she was ordered to give me full visitation rights.

I was washing dishes at the time for min wage.

I couldnt pay anything because she had vanished, and I didnt see my kids again until they were grown.....16 years.

During this time she re-married and had 3 more children.

Neither parent could hold a job, so the 7 of them lived on Calif Welfare for 13 years.

I didnt know any of this until much later, I had no way to contact them, and heard nothing.

- In 1980, I got blown up in a house-fire in Oklahoma, and was totally disabled.

I lived on the street for the next 21 years in Arkansas, unable to work.

I recieved no Govt, or other assistance. I was refused SSI.

I slept where I could, and begged for food. The ER was my doctor.

- In 1990? about, California came after me for child support.

BUT

They wanted me to reimburse the State for 7 people, not just my 2 sons.

- I went to court, and was told that my personal health situation didnt count.

- I was told California DEMANDED full reimbursement immediately for all 7 people, and none of the money would go to my 2 sons.

- I was told that my Court ordered rights to see my children grow up didnt count.

- I was told that her choice to be incommunicato was my fault.

I told the Court that I would reimburse my 2 sons only, 'somehow', but refused California's terms.

California refused my settlement offer, and told me - 'dont come back to Calif, or I would be in prison for 30 years'.!!!!!!!!

They dragged me back into court every year until 2002, hounding and threatening me....12 years [taxpayer money].

- In 2002, I was finally able to get SSI - 650 per month, Medicaid, and some Food Stamps.

I have been living on this tiny amount since.

My living expences take all my resources, so I am unable to send my sons one dime.

I cannot work - I am 95% bedridden - up only to see the doctor, or buy food with some help.

My children are 36 and 40 now.

They want nothing from me in the way of money.

I have no contact with my older son sadly.....20+ years now.

He hates me because he was raised by another man.

I am protected by SSI in 49 States for this outstanding debt, but in California I can still be sent to prison for 30 years.!!!!!!!

My total bill in California in 2002 was estimated to be 245,000+, and 30+ years interest.

You know, everyone has a story. Man, woman, and child.

I see where I have been judged by others adversely, who didnt know the facts.

I am sure that there are fathers AND mothers out there who have done wrong - on purpose....maybe.

I cannot judge.

But two things I have learned in life are -

1 - Do not judge others - peroid - unless you wear their shoes.

We do not know other peoples suffering, pain, or handicaps.

2 - Each of us is given a life, and it is up to us PERSONALLY to cherish what we have, and to try to make it better.

Nothing comes on a silver platter, and life is hard and not fair for most of us.

Hi, I am don in ks, a DEADBEAT DAD.....in some peoples opinion.

I have no defence except that I was blindly handed a life full of twists and turns, like everybody else.

I have done the best I could with the cards I have been dwelt.

I am not perfect.

You know, I have watched my older sister sit around for 40+ years, HATING her ex husband because he didnt give her the money that she felt was owed to her.

She has been single just as long because she figures ALL men are rotten, including me, her own brother, because her love expectations didnt work out.

She has lived more than half her life - 'unhappy', and carrying this burden.

OMG....how sad. But will she listen to common sence?

I know other people who fall down in life, stand back up, dust themselves off, and get on with living.

A lot of them are in this group.

You know who you are.

My friends - this is my advice - just let go of the past.

Live today like it is your last day on Earth.

AND - fill your life with UNCONDITIONAL love for all things.

The good, the bad, the ugli.

Know-what-I-mean?

Thats my 2 cents, and I want change back. LOL :-)

love

don in ks

From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM

Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I

just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty

From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting

Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........

My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how.

Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall.

---

[Guest guest]

Don, I know there are 3 sides to every story, and you are right the ones who sufferedwere the children by not having a father around.And him by not knowing his children. And maybe they would have had a easier life, maybe not. In HIS case he felt that if he couldnt pay the support he couldnt see them, that shouldnt be the case and wasnt the intention in my case. I know from a friend Calif. must be very strict, he has children there, same sit as u, unable to even know where they live, but has payroll deducted child support, and at least every two years they mess up and revoke his driving liscense in Md. even though he is paying each paycheck. So yes the system is screwed up. What happens to he children if the mom too says I cant do this for WHATEVER reason.??

From: Christ <ludichrist2000@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 5:52:29 PMSubject: [ ] Child Support -

Hi Everybody

I guess this might be where some of you might hate me also, but here is my story about child support.

- In 1970, I got married for 5 years, and had 2 son's.

I worked my butt off to support my family - my ex couldnt hold a job.

We seperated 2 times because she like to play around behind my back.

The 2nd time she took the kids out of State [Arkansas], and vanished with her BF.

A year later I filed for divorce, having had no contact.

In the divorce I was ordered to pay 15 per week per child, and she was ordered to give me full visitation rights.

I was washing dishes at the time for min wage.

I couldnt pay anything because she had vanished, and I didnt see my kids again until they were grown.....16 years.

During this time she re-married and had 3 more children.

Neither parent could hold a job, so the 7 of them lived on Calif Welfare for 13 years.

I didnt know any of this until much later, I had no way to contact them, and heard nothing.

- In 1980, I got blown up in a house-fire in Oklahoma, and was totally disabled.

I lived on the street for the next 21 years in Arkansas, unable to work.

I recieved no Govt, or other assistance. I was refused SSI.

I slept where I could, and begged for food. The ER was my doctor.

- In 1990? about, California came after me for child support.

BUT

They wanted me to reimburse the State for 7 people, not just my 2 sons.

- I went to court, and was told that my personal health situation didnt count.

- I was told California DEMANDED full reimbursement immediately for all 7 people, and none of the money would go to my 2 sons.

- I was told that my Court ordered rights to see my children grow up didnt count.

- I was told that her choice to be incommunicato was my fault.

I told the Court that I would reimburse my 2 sons only, 'somehow', but refused California's terms.

California refused my settlement offer, and told me - 'dont come back to Calif, or I would be in prison for 30 years'.!!!!!!!!

They dragged me back into court every year until 2002, hounding and threatening me....12 years [taxpayer money].

- In 2002, I was finally able to get SSI - 650 per month, Medicaid, and some Food Stamps.

I have been living on this tiny amount since.

My living expences take all my resources, so I am unable to send my sons one dime.

I cannot work - I am 95% bedridden - up only to see the doctor, or buy food with some help.

My children are 36 and 40 now.

They want nothing from me in the way of money.

I have no contact with my older son sadly.....20+ years now.

He hates me because he was raised by another man.

I am protected by SSI in 49 States for this outstanding debt, but in California I can still be sent to prison for 30 years.!!!!!!!

My total bill in California in 2002 was estimated to be 245,000+, and 30+ years interest.

You know, everyone has a story. Man, woman, and child.

I see where I have been judged by others adversely, who didnt know the facts.

I am sure that there are fathers AND mothers out there who have done wrong - on purpose....maybe.

I cannot judge.

But two things I have learned in life are -

1 - Do not judge others - peroid - unless you wear their shoes.

We do not know other peoples suffering, pain, or handicaps.

2 - Each of us is given a life, and it is up to us PERSONALLY to cherish what we have, and to try to make it better.

Nothing comes on a silver platter, and life is hard and not fair for most of us.

Hi, I am don in ks, a DEADBEAT DAD.....in some peoples opinion.

I have no defence except that I was blindly handed a life full of twists and turns, like everybody else.

I have done the best I could with the cards I have been dwelt.

I am not perfect.

You know, I have watched my older sister sit around for 40+ years, HATING her ex husband because he didnt give her the money that she felt was owed to her.

She has been single just as long because she figures ALL men are rotten, including me, her own brother, because her love expectations didnt work out.

She has lived more than half her life - 'unhappy', and carrying this burden.

OMG....how sad. But will she listen to common sence?

I know other people who fall down in life, stand back up, dust themselves off, and get on with living.

A lot of them are in this group.

You know who you are.

My friends - this is my advice - just let go of the past.

Live today like it is your last day on Earth.

AND - fill your life with UNCONDITIONAL love for all things.

The good, the bad, the ugli.

Know-what-I-mean?

Thats my 2 cents, and I want change back. LOL :-)

love

don in ks

From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM

Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I

just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty

From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting

Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........

My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how.

Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall.

---