Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 Oh my God that is deplorable. On Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 7:56 PM, Christ <ludichrist2000@...> wrote: Hi Teri I was being told to foot the bill for all seven people, not just my two sons, because they all lived on California Welfare for 13 years. I was supposed to pay Welfare back for supporting ALL of them. I was disabled and poor, so I had to represent myself. I got no lawyer as it was a civil case that carrys criminal penalitys. I told the judge that California's case was insane and totally unjust. He found me in contempt of court, and put me in jail for 30 days. He said that he didnt like Deadbeat Dads. They are dirt. Go figure. When I got out of jail, I was given a new court date. Rather than appear before the same judge, with the same conditions, I fled to Colorado. Hitch hiking home months later, I was stopped, and the cops had a warrent for me - 'failure to appear'. I spent another automatic 45 days in jail for that. While in jail, I filed in Federal Court to have the judge changed. But the harrassment didnt stop for 11 more years, until 2002 when I came to Kansas, and got approved for SSI. Legally, I may owe California for the 13 years for my 2 sons support. It amounts to 20,000 total, plus interest.....not 1/3 million. - I certainly do not owe for my ex, or her husband, and their additional 3 children. - There is also the question of my ex making the decision to leave my supporting my family, and choosing to live on Welfare instead. - Then there is the divorse decree, telling her to allow me visitation rights. She broke that end of the court order for 16 years, and California Welfare protected her from prosecution. Wanna know what else....LOL. My ex got married again BEFORE, I filed for divorce. What a bag of worms. When I got my SSI in 2002, I talked with my lawyer about it. She told me that I was safe from further harrassment, because California cannot sieze Federal disability money, and being Federally disabled I cannot be forced to get a job. She did tell me that if I went back to California tho, that I could possibly be tried in State court, and put in prison. Being a 'Deadbeat Dad' in California is a State crime, regaurdless of circumstances, and carrys an automatic 30 year sentence unless restitution is made in full. In 2002, I was 51 years old. 30 years would have ment a life sentence for me. For sure now that I have HCV and a bad heart. Teri, none of this should have ever been allowed to happen. Im not worried about myself, but my 2 sons still carry the scars, and that eats at me. My older son rules his family with the iron hand of fear, and my younger son cant keep a relationship going with anyone. This all would make a great movie, called - 'How NOT to wet your pants'. LOL :-) I would go to Hollywood, but I would get arrested. love don in ks From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, " I am just about 50.00 a month too much " from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........ You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 13, 2011 Report Share Posted January 13, 2011 Don and TeriIn the end, who got hurt the most??? The two sons, of course!! That's the biggest reason that I did not even think much to attempt to pin down the bio dad. I saw too many little ones, all ready for going with Daddy and Daddy doesn't show up. Or Mommy knocks the Dad relentlessly in front of the kids.In fact, used to tell some of my male friends that didn't have contact with their kids, that they better get ready; because, they would come looking one day!! It's just the curiosity. I would tell my son a little more about the circumstances of his birth, as he got progressively older. Then, a month before he was 18, I gave him the final part. He shrugged his shoulders and literally had no interest. Far as he was concerned, my husband was his Dad.In fact, it was me that got really angry with him when he was about 15!!! He tried that one, "you can't do anything - your not my Dad". Hubby didn't even tell me about it for a couple of days. Well, I got right in the son's face and gave him a lesson about what a Dad is compared to a sperm donor!!! Hi Teri I was being told to foot the bill for all seven people, not just my two sons, because they all lived on California Welfare for 13 years. I was supposed to pay Welfare back for supporting ALL of them. I was disabled and poor, so I had to represent myself. I got no lawyer as it was a civil case that carrys criminal penalitys. I told the judge that California's case was insane and totally unjust. He found me in contempt of court, and put me in jail for 30 days. He said that he didnt like Deadbeat Dads. They are dirt. Go figure. When I got out of jail, I was given a new court date. Rather than appear before the same judge, with the same conditions, I fled to Colorado. Hitch hiking home months later, I was stopped, and the cops had a warrent for me - 'failure to appear'. I spent another automatic 45 days in jail for that. While in jail, I filed in Federal Court to have the judge changed. But the harrassment didnt stop for 11 more years, until 2002 when I came to Kansas, and got approved for SSI. Legally, I may owe California for the 13 years for my 2 sons support. It amounts to 20,000 total, plus interest.....not 1/3 million. - I certainly do not owe for my ex, or her husband, and their additional 3 children. - There is also the question of my ex making the decision to leave my supporting my family, and choosing to live on Welfare instead. - Then there is the divorse decree, telling her to allow me visitation rights. She broke that end of the court order for 16 years, and California Welfare protected her from prosecution. Wanna know what else....LOL. My ex got married again BEFORE, I filed for divorce. What a bag of worms. When I got my SSI in 2002, I talked with my lawyer about it. She told me that I was safe from further harrassment, because California cannot sieze Federal disability money, and being Federally disabled I cannot be forced to get a job. She did tell me that if I went back to California tho, that I could possibly be tried in State court, and put in prison. Being a 'Deadbeat Dad' in California is a State crime, regaurdless of circumstances, and carrys an automatic 30 year sentence unless restitution is made in full. In 2002, I was 51 years old. 30 years would have ment a life sentence for me. For sure now that I have HCV and a bad heart. Teri, none of this should have ever been allowed to happen. Im not worried about myself, but my 2 sons still carry the scars, and that eats at me. My older son rules his family with the iron hand of fear, and my younger son cant keep a relationship going with anyone. This all would make a great movie, called - 'How NOT to wet your pants'. LOL :-) I would go to Hollywood, but I would get arrested. love don in ks From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hi all, Y'all certainly have interesting and varied and poingant life stories! I honor you all for what you have done and lived through, and wish to second don's comments. Bravo! I saw Dr. today and my CD4 (HIV) is 230, which is middle ground between very bad (100) and ok (350). I just hope that the HIV meds will not hurt my liver. She wants to start me on a combo of Zidovudine and Lamivudine and Efavirenz. I know that Lamivudine is often prescribed for HebB, don't know about the others. We'll see how it affects the HVC. Any thoughts would be appreciated. My hats off you all of you who have lived through so much and are still fighting! Rod - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Don Like I said it isnt so much about the money anymore. Never got never expected to see it. It is just how much it hurts me that he can come into my work (granted he is paying his mothers bill) acting as if everything is hunky dory smiling and all. When this whole time he is drawing SSI for being a jail bird and junkie. While I am sick or while I was on tx needing my rest. I have had to work, never remarried, he burnt me bad enough. There were times that I was struggling to pay the gas bill and didnt know how I was going to keep my childern warm let alone new school clothes and things. Remember I worked so there was no assistance availble to me They callucalte you gross income not your bring home. It was about $5 that said I made to much money and uncle sam had that!! Course I am glad I worked because I now have great job skills that insure that I have great insurance coverage. It is just the principle of it all and the gall of him smiling in my face know that he is living on my taxs paid while working sick. From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 I didnt have to say anything bad they knew. My oldest daughter even sends me fathers day cards! From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 It's funny what the kids remember even though you thought you were shielding them ain't it? My son comes up with some tidbits of information every once in awhile that make me just shake my head. Stuff he remembers seeing and hearing.. Oh my Lord. For a long time after the divorce (and even before it) it was him and me against the world.. just me and my kid. We have quite a bond.. even now. Hugs,TeriOn Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 9:01 PM, Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> wrote: I didnt have to say anything bad they knew. My oldest daughter even sends me fathers day cards! From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, " I am just about 50.00 a month too much " from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........ You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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