Stress - Trudy

[Guest guest]

Hi Trudy

Your thoughts and feelings are totally normal.

Its hard facing our possible futures, and our present state.

In 1980 I got blown up in that house out in west Oklahoma, and my 'youth' ended.

I saw my mortality for the first time, and man, what a shock mentally.

I could die???? OMG

You would think that with all the drugs and alcohol I had done, my brain would be fried already, but facing ones mortality is truely 'eye opening'.

Then theres all the physical disabilitys that I got slammed with in one second, and must now deal with forever.

BUT you know what?

Its been 30 years since that day, and Im still here, and Im still me.

A bit worn, but life is still good, and I can still crack my own stupid jokes, and laugh at them.

My body is shot at 60, but in my head, Im still that goofy 20 year old.

I think it was Teri who told you that - 'more than likely' - all your health woes right now are connected to the HCV meds.

That in time, the meds will flush from your body, and you will discover most of the old 'you'.

I totally agree with this, and I will bet that this is exactly what is going to happen to you.

Trudy, no matter what happens as far as your health goes......'anytime' that you choose to open your eyes, you will see that life is still beautiful.

We all worry about the 'what if's', and maybes, but these things dont have to dominate our here and now, and make us unhappy.

FOCUS on the good that you PRECIEVE, in and around you.

Make this your reality, and everything else will take second place....I promise you that this is a 'truth'.

Youve heard me say it many times - 'we have the power to be happy or sad, content or discontent'.

Gloria is a super example for all of us with this.

Failing HCV TX the first time [bummer], sucessful the second time, but wacked with cancer [ouch].

Beating the cancer to be wacked with losing her man, and maybe more cancer [OMG].

But listen to her - she is laughing in the face of all the demons that have been thrown at her.

Yeah her life is super hard, but she wont let go of the happiness that she desires.

She has found the 'secret' to living life to its fullest.....no matter what.

You can too Trudy.

Its ok to be scared about what 'might be'.

You wouldnt be human if you werent.

But that reality doesnt have to dominate you.

All you have to do is - 'smile' - and that demon is wooped.

We are all praying that the Oncologist finds nothing.

We are all blasting you with everything that is good.

Be strong Trudy - you can face anything, and still be the winner.

Know-what-I-mean?

love

don in ks

From: trudykinsey@... <trudykinsey@...>Subject: [ ] Stress"Hcv" < >Date: Monday, January 3, 2011, 7:09 AM

I will get more rest today. Hopefully that will boost my mood & the " fight " in me. Yes, I'm afraid of what the oncologist will say. If so, that will be a bad day . But I am not going to let the What ifs or the Could be's have control of all my days before Dr visit.Just need to rest and then be strong enough to do " battle". One of my biggest fears is that I beat the dragon, only to find that I am still held down physically. Hubby so believs that a few months after tx & he will have his wife back like before. Hubby is 15 yrs younger. I knew to " date younger " simply cause most men my age couldt keep up . Hubby and I went roller blading the day after we got married. Our honeymoon took us on a charter fishing trip ; later we went to a rodeo.We are pretty much inseperatal (sp). We enjoy the same

things, all are outdoors. His co workers tease him about he should know to buy two of everything! He got a new pistol for Christmas. And even Santa knows. I got a really cool XD 40 a day later. But here's what's sad about it. He came to the bedroom and woke me up to show my new pistol. I went out and shot it a coupla times. Then back in bed. I just don't know how many of my issues will still be here or how many will be gone with the HCV. None of us ever do. It feels like all my Drs are deferring to the oncologist. It seems that even the Drs have given up / wrote me off. Even family treats me like I won't be here much longer. Becky says others see a much sicker person than just a coupla months ago.I think Becky even has a bad thought far back in the" closet " of her mind. Only you guys and

Hubby are thinking positive thoughts. I know y'alls love and caring will bouy me up through the next 7 days. Anyway, the train of thought at the beginning of this theraputic ramble, was depression-fueled thoughts of how off tx and with NO dragon, I am still a mess. I may be but will gladly welcome any little positive " piece " of me. Many heart- felt thanks to every one of you. And I know many others feel the same. This group has become a true family. Ok , back to bed for a while...http://facebook.com/people/andTrudy-Kinsey/1340460877 " "A well- behaved woman never made history"...Mae Westhttp://oktravels.wordpress.com http://allrecipes.com/cook/TrudyK/profile.aspx ------------------------------------