Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Hi Beth The point of sharing my own story is not to seek pity for myself, but to show that folks too often judge others without knowing all the facts. [My story is just an example.] And when they do this they not only hurt others, but they hurt themselves too. [bad energy comes home to roost.] I know that in each of our cases, we cannot disregard our own viewpoints or feelings because we are all human, but if we can just step outside of the box for a second, we may be able to understand what the big picture might really be. I have no doubt that some people view me as a Deadbeat Dad, that should be in prison. But if they knew the 'real' story, they might put the shoe on the other foot, and be a bit more merciful towards me. I dont deny that I have made my share of mistakes, and contributed to my own hardships. And by doing this, I have also hurt others unintentionally. This is why I try to stress the point - 'do not judge' - to just accept what we have in front of us to work with, and do the best that we can with it.Too many times we carry burdens on our shoulders unnecessarily, and then we [and others] have to pay the price of that decision. I personally try to avoid this as much as possible because my plate is full enough with just what I can see and understand. There is a lot of wrong in the world, but I think we tend to make it alot worse by making judgements without all the facts. I see alot of us doing this when dealing with our disease for example - we presume its a lot worse than it really is. Gad, I know what Im trying to say, but Im not sure that I am saying it right. Its one of those days. LOL :-) love don in ks From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Don,Other side of the coin here.. when you spend 15 years with an abusive spouse who has broken most of the bones in your body and left you battered, beaten and just worn down.. you earn the right to hold judgement against that person. When that person has spent most of their life looking for an angle, a get rich quick at the expense of others and has no conscience... that person GIVES you the right. When that same person takes from you everything you have, steals your money and leaves you feeling like you can never trust another soul again... you get that right. That is how you survive. Just sayin... Hugs,TeriOn Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:23 PM, Christ <ludichrist2000@...> wrote: Hi Beth The point of sharing my own story is not to seek pity for myself, but to show that folks too often judge others without knowing all the facts. [My story is just an example.] And when they do this they not only hurt others, but they hurt themselves too. [bad energy comes home to roost.] I know that in each of our cases, we cannot disregard our own viewpoints or feelings because we are all human, but if we can just step outside of the box for a second, we may be able to understand what the big picture might really be. I have no doubt that some people view me as a Deadbeat Dad, that should be in prison. But if they knew the 'real' story, they might put the shoe on the other foot, and be a bit more merciful towards me. I dont deny that I have made my share of mistakes, and contributed to my own hardships. And by doing this, I have also hurt others unintentionally. This is why I try to stress the point - 'do not judge' - to just accept what we have in front of us to work with, and do the best that we can with it.Too many times we carry burdens on our shoulders unnecessarily, and then we [and others] have to pay the price of that decision. I personally try to avoid this as much as possible because my plate is full enough with just what I can see and understand. There is a lot of wrong in the world, but I think we tend to make it alot worse by making judgements without all the facts. I see alot of us doing this when dealing with our disease for example - we presume its a lot worse than it really is. Gad, I know what Im trying to say, but Im not sure that I am saying it right. Its one of those days. LOL :-) love don in ks From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, " I am just about 50.00 a month too much " from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........ You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 You are so right Teri, he beat me more than once coming home after being gone for days and coming down; out of money and dope and I was the wipping girl. I didnt drive then was very naive about drugs. But after a couple of years of this I learned. wishing he wouldnt come home that he had done so many drugs that he was dead so my children could draw the ssi off him and provied some kind of support. Pretty bad huh? Being a christian I shouldnt have felt that way. But what is that old saying better me than him. Anyway I did get out before he killed me, didnt even get the kids beds just the clothes on our backs. From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...>Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, "I am just about 50.00 a month too much" from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2011 Report Share Posted January 14, 2011 Escaping with our lives and our kids is all that matters in a situation like that Beth. Took me 14 years to get out.. I can understand why seeing him unnerved you so much. It just takes the sound of my ex's voice... shudder. ew. gross. Hugs,TeriOn Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 8:11 PM, Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> wrote: You are so right Teri, he beat me more than once coming home after being gone for days and coming down; out of money and dope and I was the wipping girl. I didnt drive then was very naive about drugs. But after a couple of years of this I learned. wishing he wouldnt come home that he had done so many drugs that he was dead so my children could draw the ssi off him and provied some kind of support. Pretty bad huh? Being a christian I shouldnt have felt that way. But what is that old saying better me than him. Anyway I did get out before he killed me, didnt even get the kids beds just the clothes on our backs. From: Betty Himes <stayhungryforlife@...> Subject: Re: [ ] Venting Date: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 1:18 PM Beth, You sound like me, my kids father , same story, although i did get a $2.00 check occassionally, i think it was making liscense plates in jail IDK. He can draw ssi based on being a drug addict, depression, and since he now has low income he doesnt have to pay the prior 50,000 + that he owes accum. since 1979. Now maybe he is unable to work for whatever reason, I am currently laid off, not working for the first time in my life in 35 years, i have paid my taxes, his and then some, I worked during tx also and it wasnt easy. Why is it now that I need a little help, " I am just about 50.00 a month too much " from any medical care or anything.I dont get it either. I cant compare myself to him though because it can make me an angry person. I quess alll in life isnt fair, but i am optimistic I will find another job, being older and sick doesn't help my chances though. I will be forced to work sick, like it or not, or become homeless. I just pray I find the strength. Man even a portion of that 50k would be helpfull. dagnabit Ill never seee it either. Betty From: Beth Frey <bethfrey42301@...> Sent: Thu, January 13, 2011 1:29:40 PMSubject: Re: [ ] Venting Just need to vent a little and am not sure how some of you will take this but here I go........ My exhusband is now drawing SSI cant draw SSD because no work history. So the state has decieded to waive any and all child support he owes. MY children are grown and gone and in their 30s and we have been divorced for over 25 yrs he has never paid a dime ( mostly because he was in jail for drugs or stealing). I have worked and supported these 2 children my whole life had to work while taking tx because I have no one to help me or support me. so he draws for being a professional crimal and I who am sick has to continue to work to support myself and his SSI. What the hell is wrong with this picture. What the hell is wrong with our governmentf? People ask how people can get pushed to the limit and kill others I can tell you how. Oh yes and let me add I just found this out this week (been a really bad week) but he has been drawing this money for a 1 1/2 yrs and comes into my work smiling and talking like all is well with the world (he is paying his mothers water bill -yes he lives with her). What an ASSHOLE knowing I am sick and having to work while he hangs out doing drugs and god only knows what else drawing my tax dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really still dont feel any better........ You know it isnt about the money (knew I would never see it) it is the principal and gall. --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.