Re: Husband's Death - I'm not going

[Guest guest]

Gloria,

I heart aches for you. You do what you feel is right in your heart. You will how ever never get another opportunity to tell him goodbye. I still like the idea of you leaving a little history around the chapel about your and his relationship. Maybe when he was being so mean he already had a girl friend I know that it was that way with mine. He knew he was in the wrong and need to be punished but it was me - you that received the wrath. Please know I am here for you. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

From: Gloria <gadamscan@...>Subject: [ ] Husband's Death - I'm not going Date: Friday, January 7, 2011, 12:47 AM

Suzi and AllI have made my decision and that is - I am not going to this service!!! Don and even Teri and Trudy will remember when I would come on here so upset because of the husband's constant verbal abuse last year. It started the night before my last shot in January and hardly ever let up, even when I came out here camping at the end of May. That was through the somewhat of a shock, when I was confirmed with liver cancer, then my eldest niece died on Mar 1st, my surgery on April 7th and on and on and on. When I told him that I was having a hard time about the latest probable tumour, his response was "what do you want me to do about it"?I still thought I had the strength even after that horrible obituary! But, then a cousin called and was actually justifying the way it was written. Then

she went on about some papers that another cousin and best friend to my husband still has, when I tried to get him (the husband) to leave and not continue with the verbal abuse. Of course, he was never told the truth and since it's come out after this amount of time - then no one ever had any intention of asking me what the other side was.Also, another justification for the obit is that Dave considered us as divorced!! Well, we were not and I certainly never had a discussion with him at any time about a divorce. So, it was another justification for his behaviour and it seems everyone thinks it's fine.My nerves are absolutely shattered!! Everyone here knows how many peas are on my plate and I'm away too close to a true breakdown.So, I've taken my night meds and I am going to bed and sleeping through everything I can. The one area of my lift that I do have control over, is that I can no longer allow

these things to stress me anywhere near this far!!! Goodnight all - Gloria

Gloria,I have an idea. You know the "IN MEMORY OF" paper that is handed out at funerals? There is not time to get one printed, but you might make one on your computer and pass it out outside the service. Write the good things you shared together and his sobriety etc List survived by WIFE of xx years and friends (name a few). Name his family as well so it is not vindictive. Otherwise you may have another surprise awaiting you at the funeral service. You probably will not be mentioned on that memorial paper. You can call ahead to the funeral home to see what it says. Call a few of your AA friends to be sure they are there to support you--you will need them. I called mine for my son's funeral. I will stand beside you even if you can't see me. I have walked in your shoes and it is painful.Love SuziQ> >> > Hey Guys> > > > I want to share with you just how sick my step-children are. Here are two > > paragraphs from the obit that is to be in our paper on Friday:> > > > He will be deeply missed by his children, Tom (Lorna), Bill, (Kat), > > Cheryl (Greg) and stepson Shon. His many grandchildren: , > > , Emma, Olivia; Damien, , Tristan; , Kyla and Grayden. He also > > > leaves behind to mourn: six sisters; three brothers; many nieces and > >

nephews and Gloria. > > > > > > In light of Dad’s recent diagnosis, he made the decision to retire and > >was > >> > looking forward to traveling the world with his special friend Pat, but he > >> > was called to God’s side unexpectedly and was blessed to have his daughter > > Cheryl, son Tom and grandson by his side. > > > > > > > > I'm going into town now and make lots of noise.> > > > Gloria> >>