afraid to eat and some questions

[Guest guest]

Hi All,

So I messed up even more last night with food I should not have had and I am

regretting it even more this morning. In addition, I plugged my food in to

fitday.com as best as I remembered and I came up with roughly 3,800

calories, 232 grams of protein, 252 grams of fat (which is my upper limit),

and 115 grams of carbs. I could definitely kick myself this morning. In

addition, my eating disorder mind is kicking in telling me I need to starve

myself all day to make up for it. Intellectually I know that's wrong and if

anything it will slow my metabolism down even more, but at age 42 and having

struggled with an eating disorder since I was about 10 years old, I still

haven't let go of that fear of weight gain if I continue to eat normally

after a day of going overboard. I am not sure what I am looking for here - I

guess encouragement to do the right thing which is to nourish my body.

Now some questions, I am up to 12 HCl (650 mg) with pepsin per meal now and

still don't get a burning sensation. Do I keep increasing or just leave it

at that? Vegetables still come up undigested if I don't chew them properly

which has been a challenge due to recent dental work.

Should I just cut out the VCO, butter, etc. for a while to see if I can get

some pain free days and then re-introduce at maybe 1 tsp a day?

Thanks,

a